Monday, August 16, 2010

Back

Finished widening out the gap. Planning to go back on Wednesday and actually see where it leads.


Oddly enough, I'm not getting a 'creepy feeling' from the cave itself. The woods, though, have severely set me on edge (for once)... even in broad daylight. It's probably just the product of an over active imagination, but worth reporting all the same.

Just an update...

Going back to the cave today. I have a feeling that Cale’s putting on a brave show about how much pain he’s in. He ought to be here in about twenty minutes, and I’m already set to go… so I’ve got some time to kill. I’m bringing the flashlight from last time and a couple of spare batteries, a book light, and a pack of glow sticks, just in case. Also some rope, a granola bar, a knife, a few bottles of water and some Asprin.

Yeah, it’s like Survivorman right now.

I haven’t had any further nightmares or startling revelations, lately.

That’s about all I have to say for now… catch you later.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Better.

Still in pain. It’s worn off a lot, though, so I’m considering going back the cave tomorrow.

Meanwhile, there’s nothing much to report. All the research I’m doing is either leading to the same information that I already have, or it’s completely contradictory. On the plus side, though, my original fear of Slendy has been eroded by the passage of time, hopefully meaning that I can be more objective with this whole project.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Haven't been able to type the past few days

Sorry for the long gap between posts. I think I damaged something in my arm.

I’m not the strongest girl, honestly. Swinging a hammer at a piece of rock ABOVE YOUR HEAD isn’t good no matter how strong you are, and when said rock is very adamant about not moving, it’s even worse. I’m typing with only my left hand.

Jessa didn’t help at all. Just bitched about how hot it was in the car.

Eventually, Cale and I chipped off a rather large section, and we were able to look inside. Past the small opening, there seems to be a tunnel. It twists off after about ten feet, so we couldn’t see anything beyond that.


I know for a fact that I can fit in that tunnel. A grown man might have a bit of difficulty squeezing 
in, but if I go on my stomach and basically army crawl through, I can avoid getting stuck.

We’ll have to widen out the opening a little bit more (not looking forward to that), and I’m seriously hoping no latent claustrophobia kicks in. I feel like this is the closest I’ve gotten to actually accomplishing anything on my Slendy hunt.

Now I’m going to go take some Aspirin and soak my arm in a tub of hot water.

Just one last parting note before I forget. Remember my fear that there we bugs in the cave? Not a one, even in the passage we found. And we usually have big fucking spiders around here. 
Nothing there, though. That’s a relief.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Currently at Cale’s place, having hijacked his computer while he goes to look for a hammer and gloves.

We got to the cave (Jessa’s tagging along, but she’s mostly just sitting in the van reading, so…) The stream is higher now, as the summer is starting to slide towards fall. It must have rained in the mountains last night, judging from the amount of mud. The cave, it turns out, is barely more than a sort of circular stone thing that’s been hollowed out by whatever natural elements are capable of doing that. Checked all the walls for the Operator Symbol and found nothing, but did find a whitish-grey, cotton-stuffed thing. It’s about the size of a fat pen. Honestly don’t want to know what it is.

Anyway, back to this cave thing. We were feeling this really strong breeze, which I was kind of excited about, thinking it might’ve had supernatural origins… turns out it was coming from a little gap in the upper cave wall, about as big around as a baseball. Of course, if there’s air coming through it, there must be a way for the air to get in, right?

So, we’re going to widen the gap out a little bit with a hammer, then shine the flashlight in and see if we can locate it’s source.

Probably not Slendy related, if I’m completely honest with myself. But still, I’m a little excited.

Laters.
A very dull day. No Slendy sightings, per usual. I have yet to see the guy once, despite my best efforts. Some people, who are plagued by him, probably want to switch places with me right about now. And you know, I’m all for that. If only.

I’ve changed my mind about what I said in my first post… what I said about not wanting to help people.

I do want to help.

Really.

I realized, at some point between lining the windows with clipped Bay Laurel leaves and reading some of my favorite blogs… that no one should have to feel as frightened as I did, lying there immobile. It must be what being stalked by Slendy feels like all the time. I can’t help with most deathly fears in the world – I’m not psychiatrist, and I’m not going to discover a cure for any horrible disease soon – but I can help with this.

I think I owe that small thing to the world.

Just don’t expect much else from me.

I’m going to give Cale a call, see if he can give me a lift up to the cave I found the other day. It’s the best lead I’ve got so far.

Time to pack. I’ll grab a flashlight, a few extra batteries, and twenty dollars… just in case.

Okay, that’s the last time. I promise.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

3:00 a.m.

Woke up with the most severe case of sleep paralysis I’ve ever had. I didn’t realize it at first, just kind of laid there, half-conscious. Then I started to feel… really fucking scared. Scared like, if you just rounded a corner and found a grizzly bear shuffling through some garbage, and you knew that if you moved at all, it’d see you, and if you didn’t move, it’d eventually look up and see you, so you’re screwed either way. That kind of scared.

It took maybe a second of that for my mind to go straight to Slendy. Well, much as I’ve wanted to meet the guy, no way am I letting anyone take my goddamn organs. I tried to reach up under my pillow, already wondering if a knife would REALLY have that much of an effect on Slendy, and then I realized that I couldn’t move. I was absolutely frozen.

I’ve had sleep paralysis before. Twice, in the same night. I know what it feels like, and I realized what was happening.

Okay. SP does that sometimes, causes strong emotions. Usually fear. At least I wasn’t hallucinating visually. It wasn’t necessarily Hagging (feeling that something is sitting on your chest and holding you down), but I had this feeling almost like – this sounds so clich├ęd – I was in a coffin or something. Just something pressing from all sides. I felt like I could move because there was a physical resistance like a wall preventing me from doing so.

Weird.

In a few minutes, the paralysis lifted. Too strung out to even consider going back to sleep, I got up, snuck past Dad (who was asleep on the couch) and poured myself a glass of water.

Then I looked at the clock.

3:07.

That messed with my head. I knew I could count on having lain there, paralyzed, for at least five or six minutes – give another one or two to deciding to get up out of bed and walking to the kitchen, meaning that I woke up at 3:00 am. The time of night when most paranormal activity occurs.

As you can see, I haven’t gone back to bed yet.

When I say paranormal, I mean in reference to ghosts and demons and crap, because 3:00 is apparently the time when the “veil between the worlds is thinnest” according to basically everyone ever. If Slendy is already in our world, which he seems to be, then he doesn’t really need a thin veil to get through.

Was it Slendy? Was it something else? Am I being too paranoid? This whole thing is really getting under my skin. I’ve been sleeping with a fucking nightlight, for Christ’s sake. I hate being alone. I’m always checking, out of the corner of my eye, whipping around to look behind me, trying to see if anyone’s there. I think it’s all psychological, but I’m going to play it safe and act as if it’s not.

Slendy, darling – I’m all up for chatting with you outside, or maybe in a Starbucks, or, if you insist, in a club so that you can keep an eye out for anyone who might be committing the horrendous offense of “wifin’”. But sneaking into my bedroom in the middle of the night? I don’t know if we know each other well enough for that yet. Maybe we should slow things down. Get to know each other before we take the next step. I mean, you could take me out to a movie or something. I’m free Saturday night.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Still nothing.

Went looking for Slendy and didn’t see a damn thing. I reviewed the tapes, and no Slendy, not even a little distortion, nothing. Guess I wasn’t wifin’ in da club…

Sorry. Couldn’t resist. But seriously, shit.

I did find a cave, though. I know there are quite a few abandoned mine shafts around town, but I’ve never explored any of them, mainly due to a lot of horror stories from my grandpa about how likely to collapse they are. An actual cave, though, might be worth examining. It’s down a steep incline which a stream seems to have carved out. I’m about 5’4”, and I still had to stoop slightly to get inside, with the water a little higher than my ankles. It felt like there were insects or something just out of sight. I didn’t have a flashlight, so I had to call it a day on spelunking only about five feet in. I’ll be sure to go back and check it out next time I’m in the area.

But no Slendy, and I doubt he was chillin’ in the cave. Doesn’t seem like his kind of place. I thought for sure I’d see him in the woods, but I guess not.

Well. I’ll be patient. Maybe he’s just shy.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Nope.

Nothing that I noticed, at least. Didn't really expect to. Hopefully tomorrow will yield more results.

Found it!

Found the camera charger. Going to look over the tapes (we were filming a class project) and see if there's anything out of the ordinary.

Not-So-Triumphant Return

Back early from vacation. Nothing of interest to report. The TV in the room glitched hugely once, which set me on edge, but nothing else like that happened. I’m dismissing it.

Going into the woods tomorrow. Can’t find the charger for my camera, and I don’t have a FireWire port in any case. Still, it’d be nice to review the tapes for personal reference. Will have to look more thoroughly.

Meanwhile, Eva – who, predictably, has reacted negatively to this entire project – emailed me a creepypasta about “The Smiling Man” to alleviate my fears, apparently by showing that the concept of Slendy was ripped off from somewhere else. http://www.creepypasta.com/the-smiling-man-in-black/

That was from… quite a while after the original Something Awful post. Might’ve been inspired by Slendy, even. Either way, the similarities are a little creepy.

Eva is actually being really bitchy about the whole thing. She's been asking me to stop looking into it. Not in a "there are things man was not meant to know" way, but more of a "stop having fun!" way. One of my best friends in the world... and sometimes I really hate her from the bottom of her hooves to the top of her pitchfork.

Also occurred to me that there should be a book on Slender Man in the style of House of Leaves and World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War. A lot of blogs follow this idea already, but I want an actual, published book. It’d be amazing.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Info and Speculation

Okay, asked an online friend - Zabby - about Slenderman. Her theory is probably my favorite so far.
Slenderman was a creation of the Something Awful forums; everyone knows that. At the time, he wasn't real. He was fun story.

The Operator Symbol, popularized by Marble Hornets (by all accounts, not math majors, so forget about that interpretation) was what brought him into life. Here Zabby's theory goes into the realm of what she knows from television (of course), but it's still a pretty good way of explaining it. If you've ever watched the Supernatural episode "Hell House", you'll remember that the "ghost" was actually a thought form willed into life by so many web surfers thinking about it and looking at some sort of symbol that channeled those thoughts into reality.

(Honestly, I think the show might've been grasping at straws, but that's beside the point.)

That was Zabby's theory at least, and I expanded upon it. Symbols give power to ideas or thoughts. Easten philosophy, Spiritual Satanism, and a few sub-branches of Wicca basically revolve around this concept; that a symbol is a direct way to "channel" the idea/being/concept that it's signifying. Demonology uses sigils to invoke entities. A more mainstream example: the sign of the cross in Christianity invokes the power of Christ.

The Operator Symbol may not have originally had anything to do with Slenderman, but as Marble Hornets led more and more people to associate the symbol with the concept of Slenderman, the symbol concentrated that universal thought and... I don't know. People 'believed him into existence', if that makes sense.

This comes into conflict with the idea that Slenderman has been around basically forever... but I've never exactly been a fan of that theory. The most I've found to actually support it are the "Der Ritter" pictures (German woodcuts) which bear a startling resemblance to everyone's favorite Tall/Thin Fellow.
 
Still, might just be a coincidence. If I find anything else about that theory, I'll post it here.

You know, if my theory is correct, I kind of... feel bad for him. I really do. To exist for no purpose other than to be a monster. Being imagined into existence essentially takes away his free will. He can't get a job at the local grocery store or something, because that would come into conflict with everyone's vision of Slenderman. He surrounds himself with people who do have free will, who are living a life he could never have for himself. All he can do is terrorize, kill, whatever he does, for all eternity.

I gotta say, if that were me... I'd be bitter. I'd be pissed off at everyone who'd brought me into existence in the first place. Maybe that's why he's going after people who think about him, or believe in him; he wants to stop existing. Hell, I know would.

* * * * * * * * * * 

More on the Operator Symbol. Here it is, for reference:



Look. I know my symbols. I obsessed over symbols for a hell of a long time. I have never seen THAT, except in math, and in relation to Slendy. Like I said, we can rule out the math interpretation. The closest I can find is the terra (earth) symbol.
It's not the same, but it's close. Is Slendy somehow tied to the Earth? I doubt it; the legends I've found involve him with fire or water somehow, but there might still be a connection. The fact that he frequents the woods is kind of earthy. Maybe the symbol is more of a "Stay out of the woods" warning.

That's wild guessing, though. The Operator Symbol and the terra symbol have one main difference, though. The Operator's lines go
 outside of the circle. Is this intended to show that he's "not of this earth"? Makes more sense to me, though still a little out there.

Speaking of freaky shit in the woods, gives me an idea. If you've seen
 The Village, you're familiar with that concept of standing with your back to the woods at night. I might film myself doing that, and see if I can get a Slendy sighting out of the deal. Borderline suicidally stupid might be just what the doctor ordered.

* * * * * * * * * *

It's taking me a while to find anything new, as I'm packing while I research.

It might be helpful to head this off at the past and describe the layout of my house now.
 Feel free to skip if you're just here for Slendy.

It's a modular home, single story, brand new when we bought it. And this thing is a serious piece of crap, to tell the truth. But Dad's been working to get it fixed up whenever we have a bit of extra money. He added a garage at the back. Through the garage is the most frequently used back door, which leads into a long, tiled dining room and kitchen. The laundry room, a cramped and dimly-lit space which our cats frequent, is off the dining room. We leave that door open when not in the room, but when we sit down to eat, it's best to close it because of the inevitable noise from the washer and smells from the litter box. I love animals, I really do; but I'm starting to regret owning them.

Anyway, from the kitchen, you walk straight into the living room. It's unremarkable; stone-age T.V., stone-age computer, couches covered with blankets to protect them from wear-and-tear. basically the nucleus of the rest of the house. Off to the right of this room is the master bedroom, which leads to the master bathroom... this is on the opposite wall from the laundry room, so you're likely to get some muffled sounds through the walls. The living room also has a hallway on the left which leads off to my side of the house. There are there rooms; two bedrooms on either side of the bathroom. The room on the right is where I sleep; on the left, where my computer is located, and where I'm sitting at the present moment. My three rooms are fairly cut off from the rest of the house, but it's still easy to hear people walking around even in the dining room, because, as I established, this place is pretty poorly made.

When we first moved in, I was
 terrified of it. The vents make weird as hell noises, the floor creaks with every movement, and the walls creak for no reason at all. Yes, this house iscompletely new. I can blame basically any weird sound on one of those three causes. Maybe this is good, because I'm not neurotic and jumpy, but might be bad, too. It's kind of numbed my sense of hearing - never a good thing when Slendy may be around.

* * * * * * * * * *
Masks. totheark in Marble Hornets. Creepy as fuck mask. It looks like a cross between the Phantom of the Opera mask, and a mime. And at the same time, it's not like either.
(Like that. Not to fuel anyone's paranoia or anything...)
There have been a few instances of masks appearing in other videos and blogs. I can't tell how many Slender-blogs are real and how many are fake, though, so there's no way to figure it out for sure.
M proposed that masks might trick Slendy into thinking you're watching him, thus slowing his... advance. His progress to do whatever it is he's planning to do. It that case, I might just paint eyes on my eyelids. Now that would be awesome.
I think there's something more to this, though. I can't piece it together completely... but doesn't it strike you as slightly odd that Slendy has no face, and masks... are faces, in a way? Maybe masks trick him, or maybe he just really needs one so he can blend in, or maybe, I don't know, maybe he's just a mask enthusiast. Who knows? But I think there's more to this than I'm seeking. I'll stay alert.
* * * * * * * * * * 
The more I hear about Slendy, the less I know. I've heard too many tales and each one argues with the other. That Slenderman was in the land before people were, or that he came with them, or came to them. He's the "angel of death", or he's a demon from the pit. The Operator Symbol summons him, or it keeps him away. He appears as a warning when your soul has been somehow condemned to Hell, or he's going to take your soul down to Hell himself. If you see him, you belong to him, or he belongs to you.
I don't believe any of it, and at the same time, I'm starting see that I have to believe all of it. Because if he's been brought into existence by what people believe about him, then what they believe about him must be the truth.



*****


That's all I've got for now. Probably won't update again until after vacation, unless I find something really important. I kind of doubt it.
Until then... laters.




Well...

Decided against exploring today, as it's the first day in about a week that I've felt completely at ease. Marble Hornets seriously put me on edge. Even watching Dogma didn't help shake the feeling.

If humor is the best remedy... I don't know. I must be in the placebo group or something.


Anyway, last night I decided that before heading off into the woods with a camera, I'd try a cleansing/protection ritual, and I can definitely breathe easier now. I'm going to take a break from being scared out of my mind and wait to check out the woods until later, after vacation.


Speaking of vacation, I'm leaving tomorrow with Mom. We might be gone for two days, or three, not really sure. And we'll be going hiking probably the day after we get back. Scratch that; she'll be picking blackberries; I'll be exploring.


Anyway, apologies to my non-existent readers for not having the promised Slendy update.



However, since I'm bored and have basically nothing to do, I'm going to introduce myself to my blog. If you're just here for Godzilla, feel free to ignore my ramblings. Probably won't be relevant again. I really doubt there will be a “plot” to my posts, unlike some… so pretend I’m not even here.

As I said, love the paranormal. That much has been established. I also love writing, and I've been at it since about second grade. I used to write these short stories about my cats (I was a complex little creature) and then bring them in to read aloud to my class. I had better public speaking skills then. Now, when I get in front of any sort of group, I nearly have a nervous breakdown. I'm sure that most seventeen-year-olds can relate... unless you're super-confident or something. I know that, personally, I'm a seething, hormonal mass of inarticulate confusion at the present time, but that's just me.

Some of my greatest friends (sans Mom) are part of White Rabbit Asylum – a side project we’ve been working on a few years. Eva is basically my mind twin. We've got a few nerdy obsessions that we share, writing included. Our personalities don't always click, but you know, that's half the fun. Jessa, I've known since about third grade. I don't think I've ever had a single dull moment with her. And she's basically the only person who got me through Pre-Calculus with my sanity in tact, so she deserves special mention. Cale, meanwhile... he's great. Always there when you need someone to talk to and he doesn't laugh at my zombie paranoia. I might be more inclined to talk to him about Slendy than the previous two - Jessa's a little too sensible and Eva... she's just kinda bitchy about anything that doesn't fall within her realm of possibility. Actually, she's kind of bitchy about basically everything, but I digress.

You know what? New idea. I'm just going to research Slendy a little more with my free time... I'll post anything new that I find today.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Slenderman: A Love Story

He's tall and dark - 2/3 ain't bad.
But that's getting ahead of myself. I'll back up a bit.
I absolutely love the paranormal. Love it. Love any event I perceive as even vaguely odd. That’s not to say I’ll believe anything that comes my way. I’ve been dragged on enough bullshit “ghost hunts” that I’ve learned to be skeptical, too. I don’t scare myself, but I do go looking for the scary stuff – if that makes any sense. I’ll also admit to having a writer’s imagination and a tendency to read too much into occurrences.

For example: I took the arrival of two goats in my neighbor’s yard to be a Satanic sign, which I was thrilled over… until actually doing the research. Ancient pagans had many gods that were horned beings that looked like goats, rams, half humans with horns (run a quick search for Baphomet, and you’ll see the correlation). When Christianity took over, they took that symbol, which was a symbol of the god of the earth and a symbol of fertility, and said that it was ‘Satanic’.

Nothing in the Bible actually says that goats are demonic symbols. How, if my neighbor was looking after a couple ofpigs, that might be a cause to worry.

Pigs are friggin’ creepy.

Anyway, the point of that little anecdote was full disclosure – I’m not the most reliable narrator. I also wouldn’t say that I’m up to par with self-preservation instincts and the basic desire to avoid danger. Bear that in mind while reading, and take what I say with a grain of salt.

Now that that’s out of the way, back to Slendy.

For anyone who doesn’t know (I find it unlikely that you’re even here if you have no idea who he is, but still), Slenderman is a purely fictional entity (probably) invented in the forums of Something Awful. Over time, loads of blogs and stories have been written based off the Slenderman mythos. Marble Hornets(look it up on youtube) is my current favorite. Mother of crap. Watch one entry, you won’t sleep all night. Watch them all, and you won’t blink for a week.

I don’t scare easily. Marble Hornets is some freaky shit.

Anyway, Slenderman is an enigmatic figure, most often seen as a tall, extremely thin man (wonder where he got the name?) with long, strange arms, and a face that no two people see the same way. Where he comes from is as much a mystery as what he wants. All that is known is that there is evidence of him existing for far longer than one would expect. Those who see him often wind up missing—or worse—with their mutilated bodies impaled upon a tree, and their organs removed and then replaced systematically. His presence is associated with paranoia and sometimes a strange sickness, and those who see him are frequently found to be maniacally writing strange messages, and drawing mad scribbles of a dark, faceless figure.

I really like Slendy. Granted, I have no taste, but I like him. Maybe not romantically, as the title might hint. But in the way any adrenaline junkie likes a good campfire ghost story.
I have made either the worst or best decision of my life, depending on if you're so sort who enjoys adventure and astonishing revelations, or if you're the type who'd mostly be content with surviving long enough to have children.
I’m going to find him. I’m gonna track that little bitch down. 
Maybe I could leave a trail of twenty dollar bills to a beartrap… I promise, that will be the last mention of that running gag.
I'm not hunting him down because he killed everyone I love or because it's the only option now or something. I mean, if that happened to you, shit man, I'm sorry, but I'm not on the same page.
I'm not hunting him down because he's an unholy source of pure evil and I want to save humanity before it's too late. I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency of moral fiber. I'm not saving anyone in the foreseeable future.
I want to learn about him. How to avoid him, what 'summons' him, what kind of toppings he likes on his cheeseburger, you know, the works. And I'll blog about it, which is about as close as I'll ever come to helping people. Cheers.
I don’t know where to start looking, actually. I’m betting that Slenderman is kind of like Santa Claus in that he travels at unrealistic speeds and mostly likely doesn't have to take the subway to get from place to place. He could appear anywhere, so it’s not like I need to go to a very specific location or something. I’ve heard a lot of stories revolving around him being fond of the woods, so that’s where I’m going.

This is all speculative, of course. I’ll learn as I go.

A little sense of place: I live in a small, if not exactly remote town in the Rocky Mountains. The moment you go out of the residential areas, you’ll find yourself right in the middle of dead, mossy, tick-infested woods. Go a few miles past that, and you’ll find the reason why Washington is known as the Evergreen State. It’s beautiful, serene. Not the kind of haunted woods you’d expected for a Slenderman outpost. There are little streams and wildflowers everywhere, deer grazing… It’s like some sort of a Disney movie. The place where I spent my childhood. I’m not frightened by the woods, day or night.

That’s not to say it isn’t somewhat dangerous. I think, in my eighteen years, I’ve heard of four people who died in the mountains from exposure, all at different times. If memory serves me correctly, two were injured in stupid ways and unable to help themselves, while the other two were just ill-equipped. To summarize, being alert if not necessarily constantly vigilant is the way to go; confidence without stupidity, and you’ll be fine.

I’m not exploring those woods at the moment, though. My house is in one of the more deeply populated areas, with sparse forest nearby. I’ll be checking that out first, go on vacation for a couple of days, then resuming my search in the deep woods and mountains, cut off from any technology but my trusty video camera. Ought to be a blast. My first excursion will be tomorrow – I’ll be sure to post my findings.
Until next time.